The Rock

"How can he give me advice?" That is the question on my mind right now. How can I give you advice and insight on situations in life? The answer is more humbling than you might think. I'm not blogging to preach to you. I'm not blogging to condemn you. I can not judge you, nor do I want to. Because I am just as guilty as you are. As most of us, the home I grew up in wasn't perfect, but it wasn't the worst either. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother left him when I was under two years. My step dad made his mistakes and is now accountable before God, not me. I am not a judge of anyone. I love both my mother and step dad very much, no one is perfect. My mother and step dad got a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. I was out of the house and didn't get involved. I swore that wouldn't happen to me. I'd felt the pain first hand. I got married at 21 years of age to my high school sweetheart, we had a child a little more than a year later. Married 4 years and divorced by 5 with my son caught in the middle. The pain involved in something like that is indescribable. Not understanding why, I turned away from God. I went on a nearly 2 year rampage of alcohol and sexual immorality. I was far from whole in my life and was attempting to fill it with anything but God. He had let me down...or so I thought. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't know who I was. I didn't like the person I saw. It wasn't a man, it wasn't a good person, it was a worm. Writhing around in the dirt. Soaking up the soil and filth of this earth. I started reading the bible that night. I realized that my marriage had failed because of me. 

"And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand." Matthew 7:26. 


I had built my house on sand. When the wind and the rain came crashing in, the foundation crumbled. I wasn't a strong enough man, I wasn't a good enough husband. That's not to release my ex-wife of her part, it's just to emphasize mine. I have since remarried. We as men, fathers, husbands have an extra tall order. We are responsible for our wives, children and ourselves. There is no gray area here. Men are to be the keepers of the family. That is a lot of responsibility. So, why are so many men failing? For many reasons, but I strongly believe the main reason is WE are not building on the Rock of God. Many of us are flopping around on the beach like a fish out of water. Did you know there is an instruction manual? It's at your local book store, titled The Holy Bible. I am not perfect. Not even close. I still make mistakes. I've raised my voice at my wife, said things out of anger. The good news is, because of Christ, I don't have to be perfect. I am to strive for it, but realizing I will make mistakes is part of the deal. We can be strong, focused and loving at the same time. We can be what we are meant to be. It starts with a choice. Choose today what kind of man you will be. The man who builds on sand. Or the man who builds on a rock. 

I realize some men will read this and mock it. Others will embrace it. Some will want to embrace it but not know how or where to start. Your local pastor is a great person to talk to. Or just send me a message. 

So to answer the question in the beginning. I will offer my insights to you as my brothers and sisters in Christ all day long. What you do with it is up to you...


~Caleb