The Calling

One thing I've notice about the human condition is the constant pursuit of reaffirmation. The overwhelming urge to fit into a square or round hole with our triangle peg. The "calling" is a strange thing. The calling is what we are meant to do with our lives. We sometimes wander from career to job and back until we find it, if we ever do. I think the calling is a bit misleading.

As Jeff ties his laces, he stands and stares into the mirror. Today is the big day, the corporate office will be holding a meeting over his department and he is in charge of the presentation. The silk tie feels colder than normal in the dim lit bathroom. Jeff forces a smile as he practices his opening speech. Just as he was wrapping up the first sentence he stopped. Looking at himself in the mirror of the large bathroom in his 5 bedroom house. The joy was gone, the gaping hole inside was apparent and at that moment he knew there was more to life than this. His whole life was dedicated to getting ahead, to pushing to the next level. He focused on being the best throughout high school, college, and now in his professional life. The funny thing is, he had succeeded. He was the top of his class in both college and high school, he was now the manager of one of the biggest departments in a fortune 500 company. He was good at what he did, he was the best. So why did he feel this way? Where was his joy?

Many times we are called to do something because we are good at it, or because it's easy. The process fell into our laps. We stumbled upon the opportunity and took it to the next level like Jeff did. Many times that road seem right for a long time. Until one day you find yourself looking in the mirror, sitting in your car, or staring at the wall in your office wondering if this is really where you should be. Sometimes we are called to do something that requires sacrifice, risk, and bravery. The truth is, neither is wrong.

Where ever you are today is where you are. There is no "calling". Getting tied up in what you think you are supposed to be doing or where you think you should be will distract you from where you are. You will be less likely to apply yourself and see all the blessings you have. Once you can be content with your life, and realize you are where you are because there is no predestined calling, then you can be happy. The society we live in mandates happiness but rarely references contentment. Without contentment, happiness will always elude you. Being content and being happy go hand in hand but you do not need the second to have the first. Be content, be thankful, and know that if you make the most of where you are, you'll find it's exactly where you need to be.

God Bless,
Caleb

Weak

Building up and lashing out
The heart is muted, the tongue cries out
Forcing down the angers peak
Why must I be so weak?
I let you down everyday
My thoughts, my speech in every way
Twisting and turning, can't find my place
Hopelessly falling, and losing the race
I pray to You for just a glance
Then turn away and miss my chance
Must I always be this torn?
What does it mean to be reborn?
Please oh Lord, hear my prayer
I'm in a world plagued with despair
I need Your hand to guide me through
I need Your eyes to see the truth
I need Your strength for I am weak
I need Your heart, for it's love I seek


Be with me Lord, and show me Your heart
For way too long, we've been apart
You never left, but I couldn't see
Past My wants and all My needs
Help me to ignore the selfish child
And be the one who walks the extra mile
Teach my heart to embrace the truth
The change in me will be the proof
This is my prayer, from all my soul
I leave my life in Your control

AMEN

Faith

When we believe without proof, when we have a different thought
It's not about what's cool, but really about what's not
Standing up for something can make you a target
Why don't you just forget that you ever thought it
So many people doing the same things
It's all about the girl, or the car, or the bling
Believe when I say that life is not an endless rift
The truth is that Life is a Gift
Do you open your presents when they are given?
Why not open the one from He who has risen?
Faith is a step toward a cloud or a vapor
Eventually you'll see the words written on His paper
Although you will see it, will your name be listed?
I'm trying to be clear so my words don't get twisted.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life
If you don't believe this, that is your right
Before you attack the words I'm saying
Why don't you read, think, and try praying?
I think at this point I've heard it all
The reason I'm a christian is my brain's too small
Atheists attack saying "you have no proof!"
Well, John 3:16 is my truth
So I'll leave you today with another statement that's true
When Jesus bled on the cross, His prayer was for you.

~Caleb

Worry

Staring out into the sky, over looking the river you wonder how it's come to this. How could everything just fall apart so fast? Something that took years to build was shattered in an instant. Holding the hand of your child, you look down at her. Her eyes have both trust and fear in them and you have no words. Gripping her little hand tighter it's time to go home...

As you make your way back to the car your daughter says the words you can't bear to hear. "Why did daddy die?" The words hit you like a freight train. The last few days have been a blur. You don't even remember the funeral. Trying to talk about this now is not going to work. The wind blows the leaves out of the trees. It's autumn, his favorite time of year. Hunting season will be coming up, you have to get the freezer cleaned out for this years harvest. Wait, no. This year, there will be no need to clean out the freezer. No muddy boots on the back porch, and no complaining about him leaving his hunting clothes on the floor. You would give anything for that now.

Opening the car door you motion for her to get inside. She hops up in her seat and you shut the door. Holding back the tears you say "get buckled up honey." The crack in your voice is all but noticeable. A tear rolls down your cheek. You miss him so much. Why now? Why us? A car accident, or a fire are things that happen. But a heart attack at 37 is unheard of. Gripping the steering wheel the leather is still hot from the sun. Your knuckles go white as you squeeze tighter. Gotta hold on for Emily, you think. How will we pay the bills? What will happen to the house? You can't afford daycare on your own. The car weaves in your lane as you struggle to see through the tears. Pulling over to the side of the road you start sobbing. Emily's back there you think, but you can't stop. A couple minutes later wiping the tears from your face you look in the rear view. Emily is just staring at you teary eyed with a half smile. There's a knock on the window next to you. The sound makes you jump slightly. You look to see an elderly man. Rolling down the window a crack he asks you "Everything alright?" Embarrassed, you simply reply "yes, everything is fine." "Forgive me, but I couldn't help but notice you crying. Is there anything you need?" He says. "It's okay, we're fine" you reply. "How ya doing Emily?" He says while looking in the back seat. Emily smiles at the old man. He seemed sweet. Wearing a light blue collared shirt under a tan over coat. His hat was funny looking and he had white hair. "Well good, I'm glad you are doing better." The old man says. "I have to get going ladies, but I wanted to make sure you got the message." Stunned and speechless you just stare forward as the gentleman walks off toward the back of the car. Peace overwhelms you. "Did you know that man?" you ask Emily. She just shakes her head no. Quickly you spin around to see where he went and there is no sign of him. No car, no one walking, nothing. He's just gone.

Shaking your head in bewilderment you look down to put the car in drive and in the passenger seat there sits an envelope. you reach over and pick it up. the outside has your name on it, so you open it up. Inside is a note the reads:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:25-27

Laying the note back down on the seat you put the car in drive. "It's going to be okay." you think. It's going to be okay...

~Caleb

The Rock

"How can he give me advice?" That is the question on my mind right now. How can I give you advice and insight on situations in life? The answer is more humbling than you might think. I'm not blogging to preach to you. I'm not blogging to condemn you. I can not judge you, nor do I want to. Because I am just as guilty as you are. As most of us, the home I grew up in wasn't perfect, but it wasn't the worst either. My father was an abusive alcoholic and my mother left him when I was under two years. My step dad made his mistakes and is now accountable before God, not me. I am not a judge of anyone. I love both my mother and step dad very much, no one is perfect. My mother and step dad got a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. I was out of the house and didn't get involved. I swore that wouldn't happen to me. I'd felt the pain first hand. I got married at 21 years of age to my high school sweetheart, we had a child a little more than a year later. Married 4 years and divorced by 5 with my son caught in the middle. The pain involved in something like that is indescribable. Not understanding why, I turned away from God. I went on a nearly 2 year rampage of alcohol and sexual immorality. I was far from whole in my life and was attempting to fill it with anything but God. He had let me down...or so I thought. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and didn't know who I was. I didn't like the person I saw. It wasn't a man, it wasn't a good person, it was a worm. Writhing around in the dirt. Soaking up the soil and filth of this earth. I started reading the bible that night. I realized that my marriage had failed because of me. 

"And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand." Matthew 7:26. 


I had built my house on sand. When the wind and the rain came crashing in, the foundation crumbled. I wasn't a strong enough man, I wasn't a good enough husband. That's not to release my ex-wife of her part, it's just to emphasize mine. I have since remarried. We as men, fathers, husbands have an extra tall order. We are responsible for our wives, children and ourselves. There is no gray area here. Men are to be the keepers of the family. That is a lot of responsibility. So, why are so many men failing? For many reasons, but I strongly believe the main reason is WE are not building on the Rock of God. Many of us are flopping around on the beach like a fish out of water. Did you know there is an instruction manual? It's at your local book store, titled The Holy Bible. I am not perfect. Not even close. I still make mistakes. I've raised my voice at my wife, said things out of anger. The good news is, because of Christ, I don't have to be perfect. I am to strive for it, but realizing I will make mistakes is part of the deal. We can be strong, focused and loving at the same time. We can be what we are meant to be. It starts with a choice. Choose today what kind of man you will be. The man who builds on sand. Or the man who builds on a rock. 

I realize some men will read this and mock it. Others will embrace it. Some will want to embrace it but not know how or where to start. Your local pastor is a great person to talk to. Or just send me a message. 

So to answer the question in the beginning. I will offer my insights to you as my brothers and sisters in Christ all day long. What you do with it is up to you...


~Caleb

Forks

We all face them. The choice between a rock and a hard place. Oh yes, sometimes forks are easy. go up or go down. But so often they are confusing and challenging. So when faced with these decisions, what do we do? How do we determine the choices we make? which way do we go?

Recently Steve was given a lucrative job offer. This career would allow him the opportunity to make large sums of money and not work many more hours than he does now. The place Steve works is struggling. He's been there only two short years but still feels a sense of loyalty to them. The Career opportunity seems good from a distance but like many times, the grass is always greener. So, what did Steve do? He turned down this job offer. The next day going into work wasn't a struggle. He even stayed late to get caught up. Sometimes it's not the choice that needs to be made, just the opportunity to have a choice.

 I think this falls into the same lines as guns and voting. Years ago, African Americans could not vote. Today, many don't. It's not so much that they all want to vote, but they want the opportunity to vote. Not every red blooded American owns a gun. Not every American wants to own a gun. Try and take away the right to own guns and as history has proven, you'll have a fight on your hands. We as Americans don't want anyone telling us what we HAVE to do, or what we cannot do. We go through life working our way through the ranks of the military or work place so we have less people telling us what we have to do, and more people to tell what to do.

When you go into an ice cream shop, you want choices. If every flavor was vanilla, that wouldn't be a very successful shop. Just like in life. If you limit yourself to the minimum number of choices because you are afraid to make decisions, it won't be a very successful life. Take chances, embrace the forks in the road, and soon enough you'll find yourself staying late with a smile on your face.

~Caleb

Going Hungry

The rain hits the top of the car in a rhythmic pattern like the sound of war drums. He reclines the seat and closes his eyes. His mind races with the days events. The last year has been a whirlwind of mistakes. Lawsuits fill the air and tonight he sleeps in his car, no money for a hotel.  

Jim is the CEO of a major manufacturing company. This is not his first business. So why is it failing? Economics would tell you the economy is bad. Business guru's would say poor business decisions. I think he took his eye off the prize. You see, we all make bad decisions in life. We are all going through tough economic times. So why is this man failing where others succeed? We have to look at what we serve and the hand that feeds.

I once had to dog sit for a neighbor when I was young. The rules were simple, feed and water the dog daily. I would go over before school and after school, fire up the hose and fill the water bowl. Then I would get the giant back of dog food open and scoop some into Bears bowl. Bear was a big Chow/ German Shepard mix. I didn't really trust that dog, but he was always happy to see me, well almost always. One day, I filled his water dish and bend over to fill his food bowl and he snapped at me. His large white teeth ran down the side of my face like a straight razor. If I had a beard at he age of 10, he would have had half of it in his mouth. I quickly sprung back and landed in the crab crawl position back pedaling as fast as possible. He didn't stop and lunged at me again. Lucky for me he was on a thick chain, tied to a post 3' in the ground. Stunned and scared I hurried home. I didn't tell anyone about what happen, but I didn't feed Bear for two days either. You see, Bear didn't think about what he was doing. Maybe he was having a bad day, or just missed his family. Or maybe he was just a jerk (most likely answer). Either way, he bit at the hand that fed and the food stopped coming. 

Jim is no different. When things got good, when things were great, he lost sight of where the food was coming from. He forgot who provided for him and he took his eye off what was important. He stopped obeying and tried to write his own rules. Much like Bear, Jim thought he could have his way and still get paid. It doesn't work like that. Sure, there are many successful non-believers out there. They never served God, so their money and success doesn't come from Him. It's when you know God, and your successes are great that you must remember: "A man can only serve one master." We all have masters. Something in our lives that takes precedence over all other things. Money, Sex, Drugs, Family, Success, and the list goes on. One thing in your life takes that role. What is it? Is it God? Is it Jesus? Or is it money, fame, lust, or greed? Out of all those things mentioned, which do you believe has the greatest long term potential? 

We all struggle to find inner peace, joy, and contentment."Money can't by happiness". You know who said that? Me either. Obviously a very wealthy person. How else would they know? 

~Caleb